Choosing Between Your Friends and Your Girlfriend
If you have ever been in a relationship with a woman who you are seriously attracted to, you definitely know how it feels. It's a feeling like no other. Almost nothing seems as important to you as being with her. If you could, you would spend every free moment together with her. You would even miss important meetings with your friends just to see her.
Hey, they are your friends, they will understand if you ditch them from time-to-time for her. And who doesn't, isn't really friend anyway! Right? Wrong! Dead wrong! Should you ever start behaving this way, you will damage friendships with others and eventually ruin the relationship you have with your girlfriend. Let me explain.
Whenever you forgo activities you had planned with your buddies because of a woman, your relationship with them suffers. Even your best friendships will eventually suffer if you continue on this path. Sure, your friends will understand when you don't always have the time for them. However, if you start to shut them out of your life completely, you will lose friends fast, even the best ones.
You wouldn't believe how many guys I have seen in this exact situation. Imagine you are the guy in this situation who spends all of his time with only the girlfriend and with passing time, she slowly but surely becomes the only friend you got. Your buddies stop calling you because "Why bother? You would say no anyway!" This is the worst case scenario a man in a relationship can be in.
Because you interaction occurs with only this one "friend", you will become dependent of her company. You always need to have her around and when she isn't, frustration and desperation start to creep in. Whenever she is out with her friends (because she didn't give them up like you did) you will become jealous. You will see every new male acquaintance as a threat and might even get jealous of her female friends. Like you can imagine, this is where everything starts to go downhill.
Sure, the one thing you could always do is to become friends with her acquaintances. But whatever you do, these people can't replace your old friends. Even more, should you ever break up with your girlfriend, these new friends will always choose her over you. And when the day finally comes and you two break up (and it will come), you will have no friends at all.
Now you are in a really bad spot - you are all alone. Whenever you try to patch things up with your old buddies, you will notice that they don't have much time for you anymore. If you put yourself into their shoes, it will become apparent why.
You were the guy who was always "busy" and didn't have time for them and now when you are desperate, suddenly expect them to find the time for you again. Guess what? They moved on with their lives! They have learned to live their lives without you in it!
So what exactly am I trying to say here? That you should always choose your friends over the girl? Of course not! If you spend time only with your friends and rarely with your woman, you will definitely lose her. A woman needs attention and when she doesn't get it from you, she will search it from someone else.
The lesson here is: find a balance between the two, so your relationships (with your friends and with your girl) won't suffer. Don't spend all of your time with your friends but also don't give her all of your attention either. Find the time to go out with your buddies and the time to do something with your girl so everybody is happy. Remember, balance is the key to all long and healthy relationships.
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